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    29Jun, 2022
    Let’s Both Plan
    Participants during Coffee Bar Tuesday. Photo: Peris Saleh

    So many discussions have been held in regards to family planning but most of these conversations are usually centered on women whereby they are educated on the different types of family planning, how they work and the importance of having one but does this mean that men do not have a role to play in this matter?

    During our coffee bar discussion, we tackled the matter of the role of men in family planning. There are different types of family planning which are available in health facilities. There are hormonal (implant, depo Provera, pills, hormonal IUD), non- hormonal (condoms, non- hormonal IUD), natural methods (safe days), herbal methods (herbal pill), operation procedures (vasectomy and tubal ligation). Majority of these are normally offered free of charge in public health facilities.

    Although family planning is not mandatory, there are some benefits attached to it such as preventing unplanned pregnancies, choosing the number of children one desires and it also gives people a chance to space their children how they’d like to. There are however a number of challenges which have been tied to uptake of these methods, the most common ones being that they affect one’s ability to bear children in future, people questioning their efficacy as some women have gotten pregnant while on various methods hence leading to doubt.

    “There have been reported cases of a number of women going to get the 3-month injection in local chemists and ended up being injected with water instead. There are also people who have been injected but later got pregnant after the injection.” Said one of the participants.

    It is quite essential to get these at certified health facilities where they will conduct tests to know which method best suits you and also clearly explain any possible side effects and any warning signs that should be watched out for.

    When it came to the issue of men taking up contraceptives, majority of the men were reluctant to take them up citing issues such as low sperm count and reduced sexual performance. Surprisingly, some of the women were also supporting the fact that contraceptives should only remain to be taken by women. Majority of the male participants stated that they are not even aware of any family planning method for men. Some believe that women should lead the conversation of family planning since it affects them directly.

    “ I trust myself more that I will go for the contraceptives but for my partner I will not be at ease even if he tells me he has gotten the contraceptive, I will have some doubt about it and have fear of getting pregnant” confessed one of the female participants.

    Study has shown that planning for a child will help you avoid the social, health and financial problems you face if an unplanned pregnancy happens. For a long time, men have always viewed family planning to be a ‘women’ issue but ever heard of the phrase “it takes two to tango” ? Well, in the case of family planning it is very crucial to let men in the conversation and allow them to play an active role when it comes to either supporting their partners to get various forms of family planning or themselves getting one. From this conversation, you can tell men distanced themselves from issue of family planning leaving it to women. See you on Tuesday!

    15Jun, 2022
    Is “Kwani Mi Ni Mwanamke” Toxic Masculinity
    Participants during coffee bar Tuesday. Photo: Peris Saleh

    This week’s coffee bar Tuesday focused on men’s health in relevance to mental health. June being men’s health month, we tackled the mental health aspect connecting it with toxic masculinity. It’s a good start to have conversations on how we can encourage the men and boys in your life to take care of their physical and mental health by eating right, exercising and working to prevent disease.

    Our discussion also focused on mental health and how we can be able to break the negative norms that we have been groomed by society.  This also means teaching young boys and men about emotional needs, consciousness and communication at an early age. With positive awareness, they will be capable of finding healthy coping mechanisms and improving their skills to manage their emotions.

    We hosted Beryl Mungai from Beginnings Kwa Ground who is the co-founder and a psychologist.  New Beginnings Kwa Ground is an organization that was founded in 2020 with the aim of Drug & Substance Abuse prevention and Mental Health awareness among young people.

    Do you understand the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity? It’s important to note that masculinity is not naturally bad or toxic.

    Toxic masculinity is a term that mostly refers to behaviors of men and masculine people. It also defines the acceptance of the limitation and possibly dangerous societal standards set for men. One of the most discussed topics was social construction and how it has affected men leading to the rise cases of suicides.

    Beryl Mungai during coffee bar Tuesday. Photo: Peris Saleh

    Some of the traits leading to toxic masculinity raised by the participants were social construction, childhood traumas, unemployment, peer pressure, ignorance and single parenthood. It was pointed out that the majority of us make jokes on toxic masculinity knowingly and unknowingly. It’s hard to determine a singular source of toxic masculinity, mainly because the perception of masculinity varies across different cultures, religions and social classes.

    Nitembee na mwavuli kwani mi ni mwanamke? Mwanaume analia, kwani hana akili? This sounds familiar right? These are some of the jokes the majority make that are connected to toxic masculinity. Majority of the jokes affect your mental health status, undermine the other gender, undermine yourself or put your physical and emotional health at risk.

    How do we tell if a young man or boy has mental health issues? Symptoms of mental health conditions in men may manifest themselves in more socially tolerable alternatives to sadness such as anger, change of tone among others. These symptoms can include irritability, difficulty concentrating, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. These symptoms may vary from one to another person.

    Majority of the participants felt that women and girls have been more empowered compared to boys and men.

    If boys are not empowered, that creates a huge gap between the two genders translating to mental issues. Women in positions of power are considered or seen as a threat causing men to behave more aggressively in order to compensate.

    “Women are more empowered than men and that’s where mental health comes in and being toxic compromises your mental health as a man” Participant said

    Why don’t men look weak? Participants felt that men are not allowed to look weak or show any sign of weakness because it is more socially unacceptable for men to discuss their feelings. In most cases, men tend to not show or accept symptoms and are less likely to seek help for whatever they may be struggling with. It was also noted that the majority of men are discouraged from seeking out treatment for their mental health problems due to societal standards and expectations. We live in a society where men are told its not a must they cry but its okay to cry.

    In this month of June, let’s make sure we break the cycle of toxic masculinity by letting our men and boys understand that it’s okay to look weak, it’s okay to break down, it’s okay to talk to someone about what you’re going through and last and not least be good role models to our young boys.  With us breaking the cycle of toxic masculinity, we will be able curb cases of mental health in our society and make our boys and men better again. See you on Tuesday!