This week’s coffee bar Tuesday focused on men’s health in relevance to mental health. June being men’s health month, we tackled the mental health aspect connecting it with toxic masculinity. It’s a good start to have conversations on how we can encourage the men and boys in your life to take care of their physical and mental health by eating right, exercising and working to prevent disease.

Our discussion also focused on mental health and how we can be able to break the negative norms that we have been groomed by society.  This also means teaching young boys and men about emotional needs, consciousness and communication at an early age. With positive awareness, they will be capable of finding healthy coping mechanisms and improving their skills to manage their emotions.

We hosted Beryl Mungai from Beginnings Kwa Ground who is the co-founder and a psychologist.  New Beginnings Kwa Ground is an organization that was founded in 2020 with the aim of Drug & Substance Abuse prevention and Mental Health awareness among young people.

Do you understand the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity? It’s important to note that masculinity is not naturally bad or toxic.

Toxic masculinity is a term that mostly refers to behaviors of men and masculine people. It also defines the acceptance of the limitation and possibly dangerous societal standards set for men. One of the most discussed topics was social construction and how it has affected men leading to the rise cases of suicides.

Some of the traits leading to toxic masculinity raised by the participants were social construction, childhood traumas, unemployment, peer pressure, ignorance and single parenthood. It was pointed out that the majority of us make jokes on toxic masculinity knowingly and unknowingly. It’s hard to determine a singular source of toxic masculinity, mainly because the perception of masculinity varies across different cultures, religions and social classes.

Nitembee na mwavuli kwani mi ni mwanamke? Mwanaume analia, kwani hana akili? This sounds familiar right? These are some of the jokes the majority make that are connected to toxic masculinity. Majority of the jokes affect your mental health status, undermine the other gender, undermine yourself or put your physical and emotional health at risk.

How do we tell if a young man or boy has mental health issues? Symptoms of mental health conditions in men may manifest themselves in more socially tolerable alternatives to sadness such as anger, change of tone among others. These symptoms can include irritability, difficulty concentrating, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. These symptoms may vary from one to another person.

Majority of the participants felt that women and girls have been more empowered compared to boys and men.

If boys are not empowered, that creates a huge gap between the two genders translating to mental issues. Women in positions of power are considered or seen as a threat causing men to behave more aggressively in order to compensate.

“Women are more empowered than men and that’s where mental health comes in and being toxic compromises your mental health as a man” Participant said

Why don’t men look weak? Participants felt that men are not allowed to look weak or show any sign of weakness because it is more socially unacceptable for men to discuss their feelings. In most cases, men tend to not show or accept symptoms and are less likely to seek help for whatever they may be struggling with. It was also noted that the majority of men are discouraged from seeking out treatment for their mental health problems due to societal standards and expectations. We live in a society where men are told its not a must they cry but its okay to cry.

In this month of June, let’s make sure we break the cycle of toxic masculinity by letting our men and boys understand that it’s okay to look weak, it’s okay to break down, it’s okay to talk to someone about what you’re going through and last and not least be good role models to our young boys.  With us breaking the cycle of toxic masculinity, we will be able curb cases of mental health in our society and make our boys and men better again. See you on Tuesday!