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    26Apr, 2023
    Teenage Pregnancies = Silent Pandemic?
    Participant during Coffee Bar Tuesday. Photo: Evans jomo

    According to the 2022 Kenya Demographic and Health Survey by the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics (KNBS), teenage pregnancies in Kenya have dropped to 15 percent from 18 percent. This implies that about 2 in every 5 teenage girls between the ages of 15-19 years have either had a live birth or are pregnant with their first child.

    This week’s discussion focused on getting to understand what contributes to the high number of teenage pregnancies. With low representation from ladies, it was also a good opportunity for the young men to share what they think contributes to this, their roles and what we can do to address this silent pandemic. This is one of the most engaging topics that we have conducted that touches on something that affects the majority of young girls not only in Mukuru but the whole of Kenya.

    With the question of the day being what contributes to these worrying and trending numbers – participants shared some very valid and shocking points on this silent pandemic. Without us understanding the root causes, it shall be hard for different stakeholders to address this and its effects. As a result of different family situations, young poor semi-educated girls have become premature mothers, at the cost of their education and development.

    Some of the contributing factors highlighted during the discussion were lack of sexual and reproductive health rights education, lack of good rapport between the teens and their parents, poverty, harmful cultural practices, unavailability and availability of contraceptives, baby fever, peer pressure, adults taking advantage of the teens situation, drug and substance abuse, lack of parental guidance in sexual matters and others feeling that the girls are more informed than the boys creating a disparity.

    With Mukuru being a case study, poverty and baby fever were pointed out as the main contributors of teenage pregnancies within the informal settlements. The inability of some parents to provide for their children results in teenage girls sleeping with men to buy food and other necessities for their parents. Another contributor is young women choosing to become mothers at an early age which is nowadays referred to as baby fever– this is a situation where a girl wants a child because someone else has a child – within Mukuru and other places and has been a contributor for a while. 

    Many studies have stated that teen mothers are less likely to complete high school and they are also much more likely to not complete college. This puts them at a disadvantage when it comes time to find a good paying job translating to the cycle of poverty. Not many of the teen mothers get a chance to live with the fathers of their children leaving the majority of them out there suffering. These children appear from nowhere; the teens are being impregnated by men out there. We cannot call for change if we are not ready to change. Men also have a role to play in addressing this since they are the perpetrators of these teen pregnancies. 

    During the conversation, sex for water was also a point of reference where women were being exploited sexually for them to get the basic commodity. This is also happening to our girls, where they are being lured into having unprotected sex in order for them to get sanitary towels among other necessities.

    There are many ways in which we can curb this menace but the majority of them touch on us playing our different roles accordingly. Being a role model to children and girls around you was one of the ways highlighted during the discussion. 

    ‘You cannot be a drunkard and expect your children to be different from you. You cannot be doing unspeakable things and wait for different results. We must be good role models to our children and build a rapport with our children.” Participant said

    For us to curb this silent pandemic and make adolescent girls become responsible adults in the future, it will require all of us to put our efforts from every angle. We are calling for different partners, non-governmental organizations and governments to effectively scale up public sensitization on teenage pregnancies to reduce the consequences.  In agreement, we must be our brothers keepers: you cannot be a bystander of someone having sexual relations with a minor. You must report that pedophile. 

    One participant said “spoil your sister for her not to be spoiled by another man” meaning you should create opportunities for your sister in order to prevent her from seeking somewhere else. In this case, your sister is any girl who is around you, it doesn’t have to be your biological sister.  Join us in the next discussion as we discuss the effects of teen pregnancy and its effects on the teens mother, the child, the family, workforce and the economy. See you on Tuesday!

    12Apr, 2023
    Mental Health And Drug And Substance Abuse
    Participants during Coffee Bar Tuesday. Photo: Evans Jomo

    People take drugs for many different reasons but at the end of day they all affect your normal body function. This week’s discussion focused on why people take drugs and how it affects their mental well-being. Our discussion focused on common drugs which are available to residents of Mukuru such as bhang, cocaine, mandrax, tobacco, khat alcohol, chang’aa and other ones known as mawhite and mayellow.

    With the majority of the participants being young people, it was noted that the earlier you begin to use drugs, the more vulnerable they become to both short term and long-term harmful effects in both your mental and physical being. Majority of these effects are unnoticeable meaning you can’t notice them in the early stages of consumption. Substance use has been associated with increased risk for a number or outcomes such as impaired peer relationships, addiction, crime, mental illness, increased risk for suicide, hallucinations, high-risk sexual behavior, disorders, HIV/AIDS, disrupted learning, absenteeism, school drop-out among others. 

    Mental health is critically important to everyone all over the world. However, how you take care of your mental state is different from everyone else. With the majority of people using different ways of coping mechanisms, drug and substance abuse has made their mental state worse resulting in different mental illnesses and disorders. When someone with a mental illness uses drugs, medical practitioners refer to this as ‘dual diagnosis’. Meaning you’re using drugs to treat the disorder.

    Mukuru is one place that is known to have easy access to any type of drug. The availability of the drugs has made it easy for young people to consume. With less than 20, you can consume a drug or substance that would make you high. Some people with a mental illness have problems using alcohol. Considering alcohol is legal, many people tend to use it more than any other type of drug. A person’s long-term effects on alcohol are also determined by the amount and frequency of alcohol consumption. The harmful effects of excessive drinking can be severe, both physically and mentally.

    We asked young people why they use drugs or any substance and some of the reasons pointed out were stress, peer pressure, curiosity, insomnia, availability of the substance, improving the brain’s functionality, fun and others as a way of life.  Although drug use and addiction can happen at any time during a person’s life, adolescents are at higher risks of experiencing the effects of the consumption for long. 

    It was interesting to find out that there are people who have never taken or consumed any type of drug with them pointing out that the effects of drugs kept them off. Others have lost family members due to drug and substance abuse thus why they can’t engage in consuming any type of drug.

    “I was raised in a home where my parents were very strict. There was no way you were allowed to walk with anyone who uses drugs. I remember I was beaten because there were rumors that I was hanging around with someone who was known to use drugs.” Participant said

    You never realize your addict till you get to a point you can’t operate without consuming it. It’s probably an addiction and your mental state isn’t normal if you notice a change in your own or another person’s emotions, thoughts or behaviors. Some drugs may temporarily reduce symptoms of mental illness, but they can also make them worse.

    Through stories of change, participants who overcame drug and substance abuse were able to share how they overcame the addiction or the urge. With the majority pointing out that the use of drugs was draining them mentally, financially, emotionally and physically. 

    We call for more collaboration in addressing environments that influence mental health and strengthening the mental health care systems. Young people and everyone must be able to access mental health services. If drug use affects your mental health, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You can reach out to us through our social media platforms. See you on Tuesday!

    5Apr, 2023
    Who Pays The Bill – Him Or Her?
    Participants during Coffee Bar Tuesday. Photo: Julius Rasat

    Paying the bills during dates is always a controversial subject, with people giving different opinions on how to handle it. Some people believe the person who initiated the date conversation should pay; some think this is man’s responsibility and sometimes people dictate who pays based on how the date is going (courting, dating, one night stand or marriage). This week’s #CoffeeBarTuesday focused on who is supposed to pay for the bills during a date in relevance to the rising cases of kukula fare.

    Our conversation focused on the power dynamics of a relationship and why there’s a need to have clear information on the objective of the date. Majority of participants felt that paying bills during a date should be a man’s role and should never be on a lady’s back. It was also felt by the majority that chances of getting a lady who can take you out and pay for the bills are very minimal out there. 

    We have heard of different women being invited to dates and they don’t turn up; this has resulted in women being violated sexually. The person who is invited for the date should be not able to cater for the bills and also the objective of the date also plays a critical role on who pays the bill leaving the benefit of the doubt that women can also pay the bills. 

    We have also heard of people who have gone on dates and they end up washing utensils. Others have also been taken to dates where they are left to pay for bills unwillingly since the person who was to cater for the bills disappeared. We have also heard dates are kind of a platform to have a “free meal” which at the end creates unwanted profiling and being violated out of this. This is a result of the two not having a clear objective on what’s the end goal of the date. 

    We also agreed that there are men who believe that a woman should never pay for any bills; their masculinity doesn’t allow.

    “Hio nguvu ya kwenda date na dem alafu alipe bill nyi huota wapi? Mimi hakuna siku ntakubali dem alipe bill yenye niko, as a man I should man up and pay the bill.” Participant said  

    One of the key points that arose during the discussion is there are many people who don’t believe that women should pay for the date bills. This is from the relationship they have been to and the close friends they have. Others felt if your circle doesn’t have any lady who has paid for a date before, then it becomes hard for you to believe a woman can cater for date bills.

    The bills start from transport to turn up to the date, the meals and drinks and the transport back. The “kukula fare” slang has been used as a way to profile ladies who are sent transport money but don’t turn up during the date. Out of this kukula fare, men are afraid to invite ladies for dates or they fix them to pay for the date after turning up.

    It was also noted that at times some people do suggest where to go for dates but they don’t pay for any bill. For them, they only love going to dates but cannot pay. It may be helpful to talk to him/her about how to pay for dates in a way that’s financially beneficial to both of you if you’re in a relationship.

    A couple who are in a serious relationship, don’t have any hustle paying or splitting the bills; they have my money, our money slang. These people will always be comfortable without thinking who caters for the bills. We all agreed that it can be a turn off if you’re on a date and you’re the one who made the plans but cannot be able to pay for bills. 

    In modern dating, men aren’t expected to pay for every date, women can also pay. If you decide to initiate a date, choose somewhere you are comfortable covering the full bill. At the end of the day, it is up to you two what works well for your relationship. It’s important that you discuss your financial concerns with your partner to prevent any ill feelings about money between you in the future. You can split the bill if both of you insist on paying, especially if you both chose the location. There’s no guidelines on who should pay the bills, if you’re in a position to pay just pay. See you on Tuesday!