What you went through as a child could play a huge role in what you do, how you react, how you behave or even how you talk as a person. This week’s #CoffeeBarTuesday, our discussion changed to group therapy where we shared some of the traumatic events that went through or witnessed while we were young. At one point or another, we all have been through a traumatic event that we have never shared or it still bothers and hurts us. Some of these traumatic events have made society normalize, passing them to generations.

A traumatic event is a frightening, dangerous, or violent event that poses a threat to a child’s life or bodily integrity. Witnessing a traumatic event that threatens the life or physical security of a loved one can also be traumatic. This is particularly important for young children as their sense of safety depends on the perceived safety of their attachment figures. Source NCTSN 

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), it is estimated that 40 million children aged below 15 years fall victim to violence each year. Save the Children, a non governmental organization did publish a document having 700 cases of sexual abuse of children in a single country. These are just not numbers but children who have gone through traumatic events.

Another example given was, if you grew up with a single parent because one left or died, this will affect your decision making when it comes to marriage. You will get someone going through much hurt because they don’t want their children to experience what they went through. This has affected so many people to a point they would rather experience any form of sexual and gender based violence than leave the toxic relationship.

Some of the traumatic events known to many include physical, sexual, or psychological abuse, neglect, loss of a loved one, family or relationship violence, accidents, sickeness, undergone FGM, and family breakups. The traumas vary according to the severity of the violence and the child’s personal experience which in the long run can have medical and psychosocial consequences.

During the discussion, we were able to note that some of the traumatic events such as family violence/gender based violence contributes to our way of life. I.e one participant pointed out that if they witness any form of gender based violence they always intervene with violence. This has affected their lives to a point they can’t control themselves. Research indicates that children who grow or witness violence are more likely to beat up their partners when they become adults compared to those who grew up in non-violent homes.

We all have been through so much that we have normalized it and adapted it as our way of life. During the discussion, everyone had their own different story to a point some became emotional while sharing. This clearly shows we are not okay and there’s a need to seek help. Imagine passing what you went through to your children because you never seek help. In case you would like to share or talk to a counselor, kindly reach out through our social media platforms or visit offices in Mukuru Kwa Reuben. It’s okay not to be okay.  See you on Tuesday!